


Picking up the pieces of my life

by WolfKomoki



Series: Post Flashpoint Au [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9921161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: Barry tries to pick up the pieces of his life after losing his memories before Flashpoint. After waking up from a second coma, Barry tries to get into the swing of things at work after having so many missing pieces in his life.Julian finds notes Barry wrote for himself, and starts to worry about the speedster.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before you go into this fic, you should know it's a sequel to a fic called Don't leave me. If you haven't read that, then you might want to read it first, then come here. If you have read that, then welcome back! Also the Flash and Arrow are owned by The CW.

 

          Barry slowly opened his eyes to realize that he had a minute alone. Since learning that he had intentionally messed with time travel, he was angry at himself. Barry didn’t know where he was going yet, but he knew that he had to go somewhere. So, he packed pictures of everyone he cared about: Joe, Cisco, Julian. He would have packed pictures of his parents in Flashpoint, but he wasn’t in Flashpoint anymore, and those pictures don’t exist in this timeline.

          A week had passed since then and today was the day that he was going to leave Team Flash. First, he packed the clothes that Cisco had left for him while he was trapped in his body. He would go down to a convenience store later and get some basic things like toothpaste, a toothbrush, snacks for the road, drinks for the road, things like that.

Soon enough, his bag was packed, and that’s when he zipped it up, and draped it over his shoulder, slowly getting up as he tried to sneak out quietly.

          “What are you doing?” A voice asked. Barry jumped upon hearing the voice. Barry slowly blinked as he stared at the figure standing before him. This figure was him, but older.

          “I’m leaving.” Barry answered simply.

          “Trust me, you _don’t_ want to do that.” Future Barry answered. Barry took the time to look at his older self. Future Barry’s eyes were devoid of life, and his mouth was etched into a frown. His skin had lost color, which meant that he wasn’t taking care of himself.

          “Excuse me? Why the hell not?” Barry snapped.

          “Trust me kid, I’ve _seen_ what happens if you quit Team Flash, and you don’t want to do that.” Future Barry warned.

          “Oh, yeah? _Show me_ then, if you’ve seen what happens.” Barry scoffed. Within seconds Future Barry grabbed his hand as he pulls him through the speed force. They were running faster, and faster, and faster until they stopped. Barry couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

          Central City was in shambles. There was no right, nor wrong, just chaos. What used to be a city was just ruins now. Buildings were in pieces, and what was standing had long since gone out of business.

Doors were bashed in, windows were shattered, buildings were empty, lights were absent. He continued walking until he spotted a newspaper in the long-abandoned town once known as Central City.

          “ _Central City closes its doors after The Flash abandons us.”_ The paper reads. _This can’t be right, there must be someone here._ Barry protests as he runs to Star Labs. Barry’s blood runs cold when he sees the building in as bad a shape as everything else here. Slowly, he moves the rubble blocking the door of what was once Star Labs, and that’s when he slowly walks inside the abandoned building.

          Just as Barry feared, the inside of the building was in shambles too. He could hear the pop of electricity as the building ran on emergency power. Barry didn’t understand why though, from the looks of things, Central City was a ghost town. Barry continued walking until he saw a familiar jacket that made his blood run cold. _Cisco_.

Barry clutched the jacket to his chest, sobbing against the jacket as he looked at the broken remains of his home.

          Barry tried to tell himself that this was only _one possible future_ , that this didn’t _have_ to happen if he didn’t _want_ it to, but he was _here_ , he was _seeing all of this_ , and it _was_ real, it was _going_ to happen. Slowly, he rushed out of Star Labs, gasping through tears as he stared at the remains of what was once his home.

          Eventually he found himself in what was once his and Julian’s apartment, only it wasn’t their apartment anymore, because no one lived in this ghost town anymore. Barry slowly walked into the remains of what was once his and Julian’s room. Barry grabbed the photo on the nightstand that was covered in dust, wiping it away as he stared at the photo.

          He and Julian were much older in this picture. Julian had his arm around Barry, and he was smiling. Slowly, he reached behind the photo to find some paperwork. It was sign up papers for the Central City relocation project. Barry watched as rain covered the window, and that’s when he listened to the low hum of the rain in the background.

          Lightning flashed in the window, and that’s when Barry covered the window, slowly crawling into the bed as he pulled the hoodie over his head, covering himself in the dusty blanket as he slowly closed his eyes to sleep.

          Barry woke up the next morning to see his future self, waiting for him.

          “This is what will happen, if you leave Team Flash.” His future self, warned.

          “Then what are you waiting for? Take me back!” Barry shouted.

          “Can you promise me that you won’t leave Team Flash?” His future self-demanded.

          “Damn it, yes! Yes, I won’t leave Team Flash, now will you _take me back_?” Barry shouted. Barry’s future self-smiled as he grabbed his arm, and that’s when he pulled him through the speed force. Slowly, Barry opened his eyes to find himself in his and Julian’s apartment.

Slowly he grabbed his post-it notes and his photo albums.

          Next, he grabbed a pen and started labeling the pictures. _This was Henry Allen. He was your father. This is Nora Allen. She was your mother. This is Iris West. She’s your foster sister. This is Wally West. He’s Iris’s brother. This is Oliver Queen, he’s one of your friends. This is John Diggle. He’s a friend to Oliver. This is Felicity Smoak. She’s also one of your friends. This is Curtis. He’s a friend to Oliver._

Julian felt Barry shift in the bed, and that’s when he slowly opened his eyes, yawning.

          “What’s going on? You okay?” Julian asked, slowly sitting up.

          “Nightmare, sorry. Go back to sleep.” Barry yawned.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Barry and Julian return to work, a series of coded messages were left for the CCPD, in a code that Barry had learned in Flashpoint.

 

          Julian and Barry had walked into work the next day, to see several messages plastered on the walls of the CCPD. Barry walked closer to the messages, and that’s when he and Julian were approached by David.

          “Barry, you’re back! Hey Julian!” He smiled.

          “What’s with the messages on the walls?” Julian asked.

          “Some anonymous person left a message for the CCPD, but none of us have been able to crack it. Can you two take a shot at it?” He asked.

          “Sure, we can take a look.” Julian told him as he and Barry looked at the code. The messages on the wall were nothing but numbers, and Julian didn’t have a clue of what it could possibly say.

“8 5 12 12 15 0 3 5 14 20 18 1 12 0 3 9 20 25 0 16 15 12 9 3 5 0 4 5 16 1 18 20 13 5 14 20 20 8 9 19 0 9 19 0 1 0 13 5 19 19 1 7 5 0 6 15 18 0 20 8 5 0 6 12 1 19 8 23 5 22 5 0 19 5 5 14 0 25 15 21 0 19 1 22 9 14 7 0 20 8 5 0 3 9 20 25 0 20 8 5 0 12 5 14 7 20 8 19 0 25 15 21 0 23 15 21 12 4 0 7 15 0 20 15 0 2 5 0 20 8 5 0 8 5 18 15 2 21 20 0 25 15 21 0 23 15 21 12 4 0 14 5 22 5 18 0 11 9 12 12 0 1 14 25 15 14 5 0 23 15 21 12 4 0 25 15 21 23 8 1 20 0 9 6 0 9 0 20 15 12 4 0 25 15 21 0 20 8 1 20 0 19 15 13 5 20 9 13 5 19 0 20 8 5 18 5 0 9 19 0 14 15 0 15 20 8 5 18 0 23 1 25 9 0 11 14 15 23 0 25 15 21 0 3 18 5 1 20 5 4 0 6 12 1 19 8 16 15 9 14 20 0 1 14 4 0 19 15 15 14 0 25 15 21 12 12 0 11 14 15 23 0 20 8 5 0 20 18 21 5 0 3 15 14 19 5 17 21 5 14 3 5 19 0 15 6 0 25 15 21 18 0 1 3 20 9 15 14 19 8 1 22 5 0 6 21 14 0 23 8 9 12 5 0 25 15 21 0 3 1 14 0 6 12 1 19 8” The code read.

          “Hello Central City Police Department.

This is a message for The Flash.

We've seen you saving the city, the lengths you would go to be the hero?

But you would never kill anyone, would you?

What if I told you that sometimes, there is no other way?

I know you created Flashpoint, and soon you'll know the true consequences of your actions.

Have fun while you can Flash!” Barry read in mere minutes. Barry could read this code in seconds, but that may have been showing off just a little bit.

          “Wait, you can _read_ that?” Singh shrieked, clearly intrigued.

          “The message is a letter to number cipher text. Each number represents a letter of the alphabet. So, for example, One equals A, Two equals B, Three equals C, and so on.” Barry explained.

          “Where’d you learn how to read that?” Julian asked, also clearly intrigued.

          “I had a course in college on coded language, and had to memorize the language.” Barry answered.

          “But you read that in mere minutes! I’m impressed Allen.” Singh shrieked. _Oh, you have no idea how fast I could have read that._ Barry thought.

          “Is there anything else you need me to read?” Barry asked.

          “Yeah, actually. This person has been sending these messages for days. Sorry to pin this all on you, but it seems that you’re the only one that can read it.” David told him, handing him stacks of papers.

          “Well, I guess I should get to work then.” Barry chuckled as he returned to his and Julian’s office. Once he was there he started placing the stacks on the table, separating them by size.

          “Do you think you can teach me this code? Maybe we could get through this faster together.” Julian offered.

          “Okay, take notes.” Barry told him, handing him a spare notebook and pen.

          “A=1. B=2. C=3. D=4. E=5. F=6. G=7. H=8. I=9. J=10. K=11. L=12. M=13. N=14. O=15. P=16. Q=17. R=18. S=19. T=20. U=21. V=22. W=23. X=24. Y=25. Z=26. Space=0.” Barry slowly explained, waiting for Julian to write the code down. Once Julian wrote the code down, Barry gave him half the stack to work with.

          Barry started on the first page.

          “23 5 12 12 0 6 12 1 19 8 0 25 15 21 0 8 1 22 5 14 20 0 16 18 15 20 5 3 20 5 4 0 20 8 5 0 3 9 20 25 0 1 20 0 1 12 12 0 20 15 4 1 25 6 9 14 1 12 12 25 0 4 5 3 9 4 5 4 0 20 15 0 7 9 22 5 0 21 16 0 15 14 0 21 19 0 8 1 22 5 0 25 15 21 20 8 1 20 19 0 15 11 1 25 0 2 5 3 1 21 19 5 0 23 9 20 8 15 21 20 0 25 15 21 0 23 5 0 3 1 14 0 4 15 0 23 8 1 20 0 23 5 0 23 1 14 20 0 20 15 0 4 15” This message read. Within seconds, Barry had decrypted the code.

          “Well Flash, you haven't protected the city at all today.

Finally decided to give up on us, have you?

That's okay, because without you, we can do what we want to do.” This message read.

          “So, how’d you really learn that code?” Julian asked, now that they were in private.

          “Flashpoint.” Barry answered simply.

          “Ah, I see.” Julian chuckled.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I didn't invent the code. I got it from here: http://www.dcode.fr/letter-number-cipher  
> Have fun!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn't clear, the Jay I'm referring to is Henry's Doppelganger.  
> Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I don't know how you would treat poison.

 

          Barry grabbed the next message, watching as Julian slowly helped decode his stack.

          “8 5 12 12 15 0 6 12 1 19 8 0 9 6 0 25 15 21 0 23 1 14 20 0 20 15 0 13 5 5 20 0 21 19 0 23 5 12 12 0 2 5 0 23 1 9 20 9 14 7 0 6 15 18 0 25 15 21 0 9 14 0 20 8 5 0 1 2 1 14 4 15 14 5 4 0 3 5 14 20 18 1 12 0 3 9 20 25 0 13 1 12 12 0 15 14 0 23 5 4 14 5 19 4 1 25” The note read.

_“Hello Flash. If you want to meet us, we'll be waiting for you in the abandoned Central City Mall on Wednesday._ ” The note read. The note was dated for today, so Barry decided to Flash out of the precinct, changing into his suit as he raced inside the abandoned mall.

When Barry raced inside the mall, he was immediately met by a blue gas, and that’s when he knew something was wrong. His breath was coming faster, and faster. He was now violently wheezing, the gas cutting off his breathing, until finally he just started choking. Eventually he managed to get outside, collapsing from a lack of oxygen.

          Jay had been chasing down a criminal when he received a message from Earth-1. Barry had gone into a building, and he wasn’t breathing.

Within seconds he opened a breach to Earth-1, and that’s when he started to run after the kid. Eventually he found Barry, and that’s when his heart almost stopped. _He’s turning blue, Oh God, he’s turning blue_! He panicked, opening his suit as he tries to get him to breathe.

          “Come on kid, _don’t die on me_!” He panicked, picking him up as he raced him away from the area. Once he was sure that he was away from the toxic area, he grabbed the sharpest needle that he could find, stabbing his chest as he tried to get his lungs working again. Barry still wasn’t breathing, and that’s when he placed him against the ground, starting compressions as he tried to get the younger speedster breathing again. Barry still wasn’t breathing and that’s when he started the rescue breathing. _Come on kid, breathe. Breathe!_

When Jay felt Barry’s own breath against his, he slowly got up, carefully draping him over his shoulder as he raced him to Star Labs.

          “Hold on Barry, we’re almost there. Just keep breathing, okay?” Jay pleaded, running faster. Eventually he made it to Star Labs, and that’s when he strapped him to the table, placing the oxygen mask over his lips as Barry’s body got the oxygen it so desperately needed.

          “Damn it Allen, what the hell were you _thinking_?” Julian shrieked.

Cisco was still trying to calm himself from the vibe of Barry choking, as he had felt Barry’s pain in that moment, until he started vibing again.

_Cisco was standing inside a glass room, Barry by his side._

_He had tried to break the glass, but his hands phased through the glass._

_“Cisco, this place isn’t real bud. Wherever we are, we’re trapped between realities.” Barry explained._

Julian blinked when Cisco’s eyes suddenly went blank as he stared into space, completely still.

          “Cisco?” Julian asked with concern.

          “Cisco? You _alright_ mate?” Julian called. Cisco slowly grabbed a pen and paper, slowly drawing out the vibe as he tried to make sense of it.

          “Hey, hey, look at me.” Julian called, not sure of what to do. Eventually Cisco stopped drawing the vibe, and that’s when he slowly came out of it.

          “Cisco? You with me?” Julian asked.

          “Yeah, Yeah, I… oh my head!” Cisco moaned. This vibe had been particularly violent on him, and his head hurt.

          “Cisco, what just happened?” Julian asked with confusion.

          “Cisco gets these visions sometimes, they’re called vibes. I should have told you.” Caitlin explained. Barry slowly opened his eyes to realize that there was an oxygen mask on him, and that’s when he looked over to Jay.

          “You scared the _hell_ out of me kid!” Jay sobbed, running over to him. Barry grabbed Jay’s hand, hoping to comfort him. It was never his intention to worry the man as much as he did, but to be fair, how the hell was he supposed to know that it was a trap? Harry had placed some flowers around the area, hoping that the sight of them would cheer Barry up. Barry slowly closed his eyes, going back to sleep as he allowed his lungs to heal. It was around six the next morning when Caitlin slowly removed the mask from Barry’s lips.

          “What happened?” Barry asked. It was then that he looked over at Jay.

          “Have you been crying?” He asked, motioning for him to sit. Hesitantly, Jay sat next to Barry.

          “You stopped breathing. By the time, I found you, you were turning blue.” Jay told him. _Jesus Christ, no wonder he was crying!_

          “Sorry, I never wanted to scare you that much.” Barry apologized.

          “Do me a favor, don’t go dying on me again any time soon.” Jay demanded.

          “I make no promises.” Barry teased. Jay rolled his eyes and that’s when Barry noticed a drawing on the table. Curious as to what it was, he started looking through them. _He and Cisco were inside a glass room together. Cisco had tried to break the glass, but his hands phased through it._

          “Cisco, did you vibe?” Barry asked, confused by the drawings.

          “Yeah, I did. How are you feeling?” Cisco asked.

          “I can barely breathe with these flowers in here.” Barry answered.

          “Sorry, I didn’t know. I’ll put them outside.” Harry apologized as he took them back outside. Once he did that he walked back inside, sitting in one of the empty chairs. Caitlin then started checking over Barry, making sure he was okay before she allowed him to go back to work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
